+/- Japanese Honey Bee vs. Tongue Eating Louse
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Saturday, January 9, 2010
Top Ten Smilies!
Click the +/- to view the post.
+/- The Big Ten!
+/- The Big Ten!
Oh wow, it has been 4 days since I last blogged something...I should be ashamed. Ok, so what should I ramble on about this time? There are so many topics I can choose from: Healthcare, Violence, Love, Abstract Concepts. Hmmmm? Ok, I will talk about the top 10 smilies! These smilies are my personal top 10, so don't take it the wrong way if you don't like them. And here...we...go!
TOP 10 SMILIES!
10.
Your buddy on MSN just got into a new relationship or they just got a raise at work and you want to congratulate them with a nice cold pint, pull out this smiley and give them a toast! Also perfect for people who like beer...but shhh, if you are under 21 you gotta be careful! ;)
9.
So how often have you wanted to look cool but the normal smiley with the sunglasses doesn't cut it? Try out Mr. Pimp! He is sure to attract many a...uhhh....interesting women. Good luck with that by the way.
8.
Ok, I know this one is very disgusting, but hear me out. How many times have you been talking to someone on MSN and whatever the other person says is really nasty? A lot. I know. Anyways, this is the perfect way to respond to a nasty comment, for it allows you to react AND make your own nasty gesture back. It kills two birds with one stone.
7.
Speak no evil, See no evil, Hear no evil. If only this advice were followed on MSN, but we all know it isn't. So, why not keep a little reminder of the golden rule in smiley format? Also a good smiley to turn down some horny bastard that won't leave you alone.
6.
For the ulitmate shock response! Show them how their comment made your jaw drop! This one explains itself.
5.
Wanna joke around and tell someone to f**k off? Here is the smiley for you! Watch as they desperately try to make a come back with their limited arsenal of smilies! Also, very appropriate for normal conversation...how? No idea.
4.
This smiley takes ROFLMAO to a whole new level! Watch as friends bust out their own laughing smilies when you use this in response to a funny comment! Perfect to get a smiley fight started.
3.
Party! If you are a frequent chatter on MSN, you will know that instances where a big WOOT! or HOORAY! are very common. So let's personify that action, yes like you learned in english, and put it into its own party smiley!
2.
When I am on MSN, I am usually listening to music. So when people ask what's up? (like they always do) I use this smiley to let them know that the power of rock is what is up! Haha, well that is besides the point, just a cool smiley relating to music. A must have for all music lovers!
1.
Please, don't tell me you didn't see this coming. ;)
Well that's it! Feel free to post your own smilies in your comments! And if you would like to find more smilies like these go to http://www.clicksmilies.com/. Enjoy!
TOP 10 SMILIES!
10.
Your buddy on MSN just got into a new relationship or they just got a raise at work and you want to congratulate them with a nice cold pint, pull out this smiley and give them a toast! Also perfect for people who like beer...but shhh, if you are under 21 you gotta be careful! ;)9.
So how often have you wanted to look cool but the normal smiley with the sunglasses doesn't cut it? Try out Mr. Pimp! He is sure to attract many a...uhhh....interesting women. Good luck with that by the way.8.
Ok, I know this one is very disgusting, but hear me out. How many times have you been talking to someone on MSN and whatever the other person says is really nasty? A lot. I know. Anyways, this is the perfect way to respond to a nasty comment, for it allows you to react AND make your own nasty gesture back. It kills two birds with one stone.7.
Speak no evil, See no evil, Hear no evil. If only this advice were followed on MSN, but we all know it isn't. So, why not keep a little reminder of the golden rule in smiley format? Also a good smiley to turn down some horny bastard that won't leave you alone.6.
For the ulitmate shock response! Show them how their comment made your jaw drop! This one explains itself.5.
Wanna joke around and tell someone to f**k off? Here is the smiley for you! Watch as they desperately try to make a come back with their limited arsenal of smilies! Also, very appropriate for normal conversation...how? No idea.4.
This smiley takes ROFLMAO to a whole new level! Watch as friends bust out their own laughing smilies when you use this in response to a funny comment! Perfect to get a smiley fight started.3.
Party! If you are a frequent chatter on MSN, you will know that instances where a big WOOT! or HOORAY! are very common. So let's personify that action, yes like you learned in english, and put it into its own party smiley!2.
When I am on MSN, I am usually listening to music. So when people ask what's up? (like they always do) I use this smiley to let them know that the power of rock is what is up! Haha, well that is besides the point, just a cool smiley relating to music. A must have for all music lovers!1.
Please, don't tell me you didn't see this coming. ;)Well that's it! Feel free to post your own smilies in your comments! And if you would like to find more smilies like these go to http://www.clicksmilies.com/. Enjoy!
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Breakup Song!
Click the +/- to view the post.
+/- Remake: Happy to Sad
+/- Remake: Happy to Sad
So I decided to comment on my recent break up by rewriting the lyrics to the hit song "I'm a Believer" by Smash Mouth (originally by the Monkees I think...). But yeah, go ahead and feel free to sing a long, it should work if you have the same music goin in my head.
Here is a link to a video with the song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_1RqHV0V5sA&NR=1&feature=fvwp
Now I know love’s
Only true in fairy tales
Meant for someone else
But not for me
Love just left and forgot me
That’s the way it seems
Disappointment haunts
All my dreams
So I left her place
Cause she’s a deceiver
Not a trace
Of regret in my mind
I’m out of love
She’s a deceiver
I’m sure I’d leave her
A second time
I thought love was
More or less a given thing
The more I gave the less
I got, oh yeah
What's the use in trying
All you get is pain
When I wanted sunshine
I got rain
So I left her place
Cause she’s a deceiver
Not a trace
Of regret in my mind
I’m out of love
She’s a deceiver
I’m sure I’d leave her
A second time
What's the use in trying
All you get is pain
When I wanted sunshine
I got rain
With that look on her face
Never believe her
Not a trace
Of care in those eyes
I’m out of love
She’s a deceiver
I’m sure I’d leave her
A second time
So I left her place
Cause she’s a deceiver
Not a trace
Of regret in my mind
Healed of love fever
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Never believe her
With that look on her face
Never believe her
Not a trace
Of care in those eyes
I’m so glad I left her
Here is a link to a video with the song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_1RqHV0V5sA&NR=1&feature=fvwp
Now I know love’s
Only true in fairy tales
Meant for someone else
But not for me
Love just left and forgot me
That’s the way it seems
Disappointment haunts
All my dreams
So I left her place
Cause she’s a deceiver
Not a trace
Of regret in my mind
I’m out of love
She’s a deceiver
I’m sure I’d leave her
A second time
I thought love was
More or less a given thing
The more I gave the less
I got, oh yeah
What's the use in trying
All you get is pain
When I wanted sunshine
I got rain
So I left her place
Cause she’s a deceiver
Not a trace
Of regret in my mind
I’m out of love
She’s a deceiver
I’m sure I’d leave her
A second time
What's the use in trying
All you get is pain
When I wanted sunshine
I got rain
With that look on her face
Never believe her
Not a trace
Of care in those eyes
I’m out of love
She’s a deceiver
I’m sure I’d leave her
A second time
So I left her place
Cause she’s a deceiver
Not a trace
Of regret in my mind
Healed of love fever
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Never believe her
With that look on her face
Never believe her
Not a trace
Of care in those eyes
I’m so glad I left her
Monday, January 4, 2010
Animal Crackers...An Endangered Species?
Click the +/- to view the post.
+/- Vegetarians + Animal Crackers = ?
So I was sitting there, munching on some animal crackers, when I asked myself: Can vegetarians eat animal crackers? Now this question may seem very stupid, but there is a point behind it. If vegetarians don't wanna eat animals and their meat, they shouldn't be allowed to eat animal crackers. Vegetarians also have a thing against artificial food products, so why would they wanna eat these artificial animals?
As I sat there and watched the animal crackers in their daily activities, the cheetah hunting the camel, while the elephant tried to stand up, another question popped in my mind: Shouldn't animal rights advocates be protesting this animal munching goodness? Millions of the animal cracker species are killed every moment and no one is doing anything to stop this. So I say we take a stand. Let's start a group called ACRAP, Animal Cracker Rescue Advocate's Project. We can save these animals for just $1 a day, so please make that call?
+/- Vegetarians + Animal Crackers = ?
So I was sitting there, munching on some animal crackers, when I asked myself: Can vegetarians eat animal crackers? Now this question may seem very stupid, but there is a point behind it. If vegetarians don't wanna eat animals and their meat, they shouldn't be allowed to eat animal crackers. Vegetarians also have a thing against artificial food products, so why would they wanna eat these artificial animals?
As I sat there and watched the animal crackers in their daily activities, the cheetah hunting the camel, while the elephant tried to stand up, another question popped in my mind: Shouldn't animal rights advocates be protesting this animal munching goodness? Millions of the animal cracker species are killed every moment and no one is doing anything to stop this. So I say we take a stand. Let's start a group called ACRAP, Animal Cracker Rescue Advocate's Project. We can save these animals for just $1 a day, so please make that call?
Sunday, January 3, 2010
And On With The Blogging!
Click the +/- to view the post.
+/- A Medical Issue
+/- A Medical Issue
Sorry about the length of that first post there, but if you don't go big you gotta go home right? Anyways, an alarming topic has come to my attention. Doctors go to school for at least 8 years, if not more. Added on top of this, they usually take 4 more years after their schooling to do more work in the field of medicine before they specialize in their field of study. So I ask you this: after all of this work, 12 years of schooling in one of the most difficult topics of study, why do doctors call what they do a "practice"?
It alarms me to think that these doctors are using me as their guinea pig, as their practice. Think about it this way, if you were rushed in to the ER because you were having a heart attack, would you really want people to be practicing medical procedures on you while your life slowly ticks away? Anyways, this leads me to a counter thought.
Counter thought: isn't everything we do called a practice? If you are a teacher, each year is a "practice session" for the next year. Make sense? I don't know...
Anyways, think what you want; just please help me in my movement to get doctors to change the term "practice". It still gives me the creeps...
I Would Like To Start Off With A Proposal
Click the +/- to view the post.
+/- I Would Like To Start Off With A Proposal
A terrible thing it is to see the people of our nation in this day and age. One can walk down the street and see a multitude of citizens of different size and shape, intellect and stupidity, confidence and depression. But one common thing that these different people have: they are different. Not one is perfect. The very few humans are able to meet the media’s criteria. How can we expect to be the most powerful nation in the world if we, the people, have so many flaws?
It is quite obvious that the unintelligent are a flaw in our society. The problems of abortion of unexpected babies, overpopulation of this planet, and the starting of major wars can all be blamed on the unintelligent. The ugly of this nation raise our suicide rates, pass their bad genes down the timeline, and rob this nation of its natural beauty. I think these two minorities are the sole cause of all of the problems in our nation today, thus whoever should come up with a plan, that is not only logical, but also cheap and efficient, would be worthy of having their name appear as the first result of all Google searches.
I have a proposal. A scheme that is not confined to just fixing the problem stated, but that would improve our nation tenfold.
I have thought about this for countless number of minutes (eleven minutes to be exact), the solution is quite simple; the ugly and unintelligent have to be removed. Now before you stop reading this paper, know this: I’m not saying we are going to exterminate all of them, just the ones that suffer from severe stupidity and ugliness. The other “undesirables” will be needed as you will soon see. By doing this simple task, our nation will be more intelligent and beautiful instantly.
Now that I ponder some more there is another great advantage to my scheme, the average ACT and SAT scores will be extremely high if all of the unintelligent are removed. It is possible that these extremely high scores may lead to the creation of a new test. This would be very beneficial to the new youth of America due to the fact that there will be no more stressing over what tests they need to take, thus the children can get into the college they want. Just one test will be required to get into any college in the nation. Not to mention, the average IQ will be so high that everyone can be a modern day Albert Einstein!
The number of people in this nation has been counted to be three hundred million. Of all of the people in our supposedly “perfect” country, about three fourths of them fit into the unintelligent and unattractive class. On the other hand, there would then be seventy-five million people that would be a part of the superior race. But this raises another set of questions. Who will get to decide the criteria for intelligence and beauty? Now what shall we do with these ugly and unattractive you ask? It’s quite simple.
All of the people will be put through two tests, one to determine their beauty and one to test their intelligence. For the beauty test, a high council of the leading advertisers will be formed. These council members shall be the CEO’s of the companies that create beauty enhancing products, advertisers who portray the perfect person, and celebrities who are only famous because of their appearance. The reason being: they know exactly what beautiful is. They will need to be slender, use tons of makeup, wear the latest styles, and have perfect skin and facial features, because, remember, there is no beauty in uniqueness in these times. If the citizen fails the judging they are taken to one of the many massive camps we will have set up for them to live in (always under watch of snipers of course).
If, by some miracle, the citizen passes the beauty test they move on to take an IQ test. I think it is fair to say that if they do not have an IQ score of one hundred twenty two then they will suffer the same fate as those who did not pass the beauty test. For all of those that pass both tests, the reward of going to live in the perfect society is given. These tests are utterly simple, and will make the endeavor of the sorting process easier for everyone.
Now we have to deal with the undesirables; as previously stated, the ugly and stupid will be placed into concentration camps. We really don’t have to feed them much, if at all, which will help save food for the people who passed the tests. No shelter is needed for them, for their numbers shall be so great that their combined body warmth will be sufficient. We will have our best soldiers (that never ever, ever hurt their prisoners, such as the ones we sent to take care of some Iraqis?) watch over the camps and make sure the undesirables are “taken care of”. With this method, we can round them all up into one place, just like a herd of animals, so they are easily accessible when they are needed. I know you are probably thinking that this sounds like the Holocaust, but it’s ok; history has to repeat itself sometime.
So now I have clearly outlined the plan of what is to be done and how it is to be done, but what of it? What will it help?
Firstly, the enrollment in the army will be at its maximum at any given time. Whenever we need to use soldiers in another country, we can go to one concentration camp and grab as many people as we need, load them on a plane, fly them over, give them weapons, and let them go fight. Although, if you think about it, the need for soldiers will become obsolete, because our superior race will be able to create more sophisticated technologies that can end a war sooner. Besides, there is nothing wrong with mushroom clouds as long as they are not near us, right?
Secondly, the abortion debate would be over. Only the unintelligent people don’t take the time to use protection, cause an accidental pregnancy, and decide to have an abortion. If this plan is implemented, then the unintelligent can have all the babies they want and there will be no care for the child born to them, because it is only the beautiful and intelligent that matter. All of these babies will then be taken and used as medical test subjects, product testing, and, according to the cannibal Jonathon Swift, gourmet food.
Thirdly, our economy would sky rocket. All of the money used on advertising for beauty products, fast food, war, and any payment made to the undesirables would be saved and used for advancing our now beautiful nation.
Fourthly, overpopulation will no longer be an issue. With only one fourth of our citizens the nation will no longer be so crowded. The unintelligent and ugly will not be counted in the population in the new system, due to the fact that they will basically be considered animals. The increasing population due to immigration over the Mexican border will be stopped all together due to the fact that the concentration camps will be placed along the country lines, showing the immigrants what will happen to them as soon as they cross they it.
Fifthly, global warming will be done. The superior race will naturally be inclined to recycle and take care of the environment. Confining the undesirables will eliminate all of their garbage, car exhausts, and pollution. The unattractive and unintelligent also serve another purpose in helping the environment. In the factories, instead of burning coal, gas, or wood for fuel, the morbidly obese would be used (they are going to die soon anyways), and if you really stop and think about it, how well does fat and oil burn? A select few would be forced to live in underground communities where they will be slave driven to walk on treadmills to produce energy for the factories above them.
Sixthly, the need for civil rights movements will be obsolete. Everyone will be equal! Race will no longer be a cause to create a superiority complex, as there will be only one race. The cliques that form amongst our children today will be gone. Every child will be accepted into every group. What a great trade off for not having any individualism!
Sixth point fively…who doesn’t want to be perfect?
Other benefits are also quite evident, such as the concept of world hunger. Who are the hungry? Correct. They are the poor, unintelligent, and ugly. If they are eliminated or moved to a concentrated area where we can “take care” of them, their need for nourishment will be gone. Also, the superior race can experiment with new delicacies of the homosapien flesh. Don’t frown upon this statement, for it is not cannibalism but innovationalism. Just ask Jonathan Swift. He wrote the ideas, I’ll write the menu.
But what objections can there be to such an arrangement as mine with supporters such as Galton and Darwin? No one else has even set out to ponder the situation that I have addressed: the media urges us to be perfect, so let us submit to their will! Now you, brainless sheep, that go out and buy the latest styles, strive to hide their age, and need to be perfect to be happy; open your eyes. See the puppet master that pulls your strings. But you can’t, or, rather, you don’t want to. So we must turn to the government. Woe to thee who offers such suggestions: limitation of advertising in the way that it is being done now, lessening the amount of attention given to the modern day celebrities, teaching the children of today the common courtesy to not judge people, providing more accommodations for the homeless, following our nations motto of all men being equal, going back in time and learning from the traditions of the Ancient Greeks and take people into our home, providing more educational opportunities for all, finally learning to have respect for the fellow man and not the almighty dollar. You will not be heard.
So until you can come up with another plan that can address all of the situations that create flaws in our society, we are stuck with my proposal. Don’t criticize my intentions; reflect upon your own actions.
But even though these ideas have been voiced by many a person, nothing is done. So at length, I have resorted to my proposal that is stated in this essay. But what I offer is something real, something we can start at any time, something that can help us…well most of us.
I am not an arrogant person. I would not reject the ideas you, the government, or the wisest of men propose to me and bring to my attention. But I challenge you to find a new plan; however, the probability that you will find a plan that will improve all the situations as stated by my proposal is slim to none. I still encourage you. As they say, “Where there’s a will, there’s a way.” You will just need a very, very strong will.
I must confess that I have no intentions to follow through with my proposal due to the excessive work needed, my devotion to the human race as a whole, and respect for my country. However, if it ever came to be, as the creator of the idea, I and the ones I choose would be spared the fate of the undesirables.
© Vogl 2010
+/- I Would Like To Start Off With A Proposal
Well this is Sir Pumpkin Longshank's first blog post...EVER! Thought the caps and exclamation point made it a little more exciting, sorry. Anyways, I would like to start off by sharing with you my greatest piece of satire so far. Really, it is a satire of a satire, so what does that make it? Nevermind, moving on! Hurry up now!
This proposal is about how we should listen to the media and give into their commands! Oh how slendiferous! Yeah, that just happened. But I warn you, do not read this without reading Jonathan Swift's work titled A Modest Proposal. Just trust me on this one. But yes, have fun and feel free to comment!
-Sir Pumpkin Longshanks
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A Modern Proposal
A terrible thing it is to see the people of our nation in this day and age. One can walk down the street and see a multitude of citizens of different size and shape, intellect and stupidity, confidence and depression. But one common thing that these different people have: they are different. Not one is perfect. The very few humans are able to meet the media’s criteria. How can we expect to be the most powerful nation in the world if we, the people, have so many flaws?
It is quite obvious that the unintelligent are a flaw in our society. The problems of abortion of unexpected babies, overpopulation of this planet, and the starting of major wars can all be blamed on the unintelligent. The ugly of this nation raise our suicide rates, pass their bad genes down the timeline, and rob this nation of its natural beauty. I think these two minorities are the sole cause of all of the problems in our nation today, thus whoever should come up with a plan, that is not only logical, but also cheap and efficient, would be worthy of having their name appear as the first result of all Google searches.
I have a proposal. A scheme that is not confined to just fixing the problem stated, but that would improve our nation tenfold.
I have thought about this for countless number of minutes (eleven minutes to be exact), the solution is quite simple; the ugly and unintelligent have to be removed. Now before you stop reading this paper, know this: I’m not saying we are going to exterminate all of them, just the ones that suffer from severe stupidity and ugliness. The other “undesirables” will be needed as you will soon see. By doing this simple task, our nation will be more intelligent and beautiful instantly.
Now that I ponder some more there is another great advantage to my scheme, the average ACT and SAT scores will be extremely high if all of the unintelligent are removed. It is possible that these extremely high scores may lead to the creation of a new test. This would be very beneficial to the new youth of America due to the fact that there will be no more stressing over what tests they need to take, thus the children can get into the college they want. Just one test will be required to get into any college in the nation. Not to mention, the average IQ will be so high that everyone can be a modern day Albert Einstein!
The number of people in this nation has been counted to be three hundred million. Of all of the people in our supposedly “perfect” country, about three fourths of them fit into the unintelligent and unattractive class. On the other hand, there would then be seventy-five million people that would be a part of the superior race. But this raises another set of questions. Who will get to decide the criteria for intelligence and beauty? Now what shall we do with these ugly and unattractive you ask? It’s quite simple.
All of the people will be put through two tests, one to determine their beauty and one to test their intelligence. For the beauty test, a high council of the leading advertisers will be formed. These council members shall be the CEO’s of the companies that create beauty enhancing products, advertisers who portray the perfect person, and celebrities who are only famous because of their appearance. The reason being: they know exactly what beautiful is. They will need to be slender, use tons of makeup, wear the latest styles, and have perfect skin and facial features, because, remember, there is no beauty in uniqueness in these times. If the citizen fails the judging they are taken to one of the many massive camps we will have set up for them to live in (always under watch of snipers of course).
If, by some miracle, the citizen passes the beauty test they move on to take an IQ test. I think it is fair to say that if they do not have an IQ score of one hundred twenty two then they will suffer the same fate as those who did not pass the beauty test. For all of those that pass both tests, the reward of going to live in the perfect society is given. These tests are utterly simple, and will make the endeavor of the sorting process easier for everyone.
Now we have to deal with the undesirables; as previously stated, the ugly and stupid will be placed into concentration camps. We really don’t have to feed them much, if at all, which will help save food for the people who passed the tests. No shelter is needed for them, for their numbers shall be so great that their combined body warmth will be sufficient. We will have our best soldiers (that never ever, ever hurt their prisoners, such as the ones we sent to take care of some Iraqis?) watch over the camps and make sure the undesirables are “taken care of”. With this method, we can round them all up into one place, just like a herd of animals, so they are easily accessible when they are needed. I know you are probably thinking that this sounds like the Holocaust, but it’s ok; history has to repeat itself sometime.
So now I have clearly outlined the plan of what is to be done and how it is to be done, but what of it? What will it help?
Firstly, the enrollment in the army will be at its maximum at any given time. Whenever we need to use soldiers in another country, we can go to one concentration camp and grab as many people as we need, load them on a plane, fly them over, give them weapons, and let them go fight. Although, if you think about it, the need for soldiers will become obsolete, because our superior race will be able to create more sophisticated technologies that can end a war sooner. Besides, there is nothing wrong with mushroom clouds as long as they are not near us, right?
Secondly, the abortion debate would be over. Only the unintelligent people don’t take the time to use protection, cause an accidental pregnancy, and decide to have an abortion. If this plan is implemented, then the unintelligent can have all the babies they want and there will be no care for the child born to them, because it is only the beautiful and intelligent that matter. All of these babies will then be taken and used as medical test subjects, product testing, and, according to the cannibal Jonathon Swift, gourmet food.
Thirdly, our economy would sky rocket. All of the money used on advertising for beauty products, fast food, war, and any payment made to the undesirables would be saved and used for advancing our now beautiful nation.
Fourthly, overpopulation will no longer be an issue. With only one fourth of our citizens the nation will no longer be so crowded. The unintelligent and ugly will not be counted in the population in the new system, due to the fact that they will basically be considered animals. The increasing population due to immigration over the Mexican border will be stopped all together due to the fact that the concentration camps will be placed along the country lines, showing the immigrants what will happen to them as soon as they cross they it.
Fifthly, global warming will be done. The superior race will naturally be inclined to recycle and take care of the environment. Confining the undesirables will eliminate all of their garbage, car exhausts, and pollution. The unattractive and unintelligent also serve another purpose in helping the environment. In the factories, instead of burning coal, gas, or wood for fuel, the morbidly obese would be used (they are going to die soon anyways), and if you really stop and think about it, how well does fat and oil burn? A select few would be forced to live in underground communities where they will be slave driven to walk on treadmills to produce energy for the factories above them.
Sixthly, the need for civil rights movements will be obsolete. Everyone will be equal! Race will no longer be a cause to create a superiority complex, as there will be only one race. The cliques that form amongst our children today will be gone. Every child will be accepted into every group. What a great trade off for not having any individualism!
Sixth point fively…who doesn’t want to be perfect?
Other benefits are also quite evident, such as the concept of world hunger. Who are the hungry? Correct. They are the poor, unintelligent, and ugly. If they are eliminated or moved to a concentrated area where we can “take care” of them, their need for nourishment will be gone. Also, the superior race can experiment with new delicacies of the homosapien flesh. Don’t frown upon this statement, for it is not cannibalism but innovationalism. Just ask Jonathan Swift. He wrote the ideas, I’ll write the menu.
But what objections can there be to such an arrangement as mine with supporters such as Galton and Darwin? No one else has even set out to ponder the situation that I have addressed: the media urges us to be perfect, so let us submit to their will! Now you, brainless sheep, that go out and buy the latest styles, strive to hide their age, and need to be perfect to be happy; open your eyes. See the puppet master that pulls your strings. But you can’t, or, rather, you don’t want to. So we must turn to the government. Woe to thee who offers such suggestions: limitation of advertising in the way that it is being done now, lessening the amount of attention given to the modern day celebrities, teaching the children of today the common courtesy to not judge people, providing more accommodations for the homeless, following our nations motto of all men being equal, going back in time and learning from the traditions of the Ancient Greeks and take people into our home, providing more educational opportunities for all, finally learning to have respect for the fellow man and not the almighty dollar. You will not be heard.
So until you can come up with another plan that can address all of the situations that create flaws in our society, we are stuck with my proposal. Don’t criticize my intentions; reflect upon your own actions.
But even though these ideas have been voiced by many a person, nothing is done. So at length, I have resorted to my proposal that is stated in this essay. But what I offer is something real, something we can start at any time, something that can help us…well most of us.
I am not an arrogant person. I would not reject the ideas you, the government, or the wisest of men propose to me and bring to my attention. But I challenge you to find a new plan; however, the probability that you will find a plan that will improve all the situations as stated by my proposal is slim to none. I still encourage you. As they say, “Where there’s a will, there’s a way.” You will just need a very, very strong will.
I must confess that I have no intentions to follow through with my proposal due to the excessive work needed, my devotion to the human race as a whole, and respect for my country. However, if it ever came to be, as the creator of the idea, I and the ones I choose would be spared the fate of the undesirables.
© Vogl 2010
THE JAPANESE HONEY BEE
Here is a short video about why I like this bug: http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-3642419097420044432&q=type%3Agpick&hl=en#
These bees are amazing! How did they develop that tactic? The fact that they kill their enemies by shaking thier butts is simply awesome. This makes me wonder, if you applied the same tactic to school playgrounds would it be successful? Just imagine...a 5th grader bully being swarmed by 1st graders shaking their butts...it could work...prolly not though.
TONGUE EATING LOUSE
Here is the info on this bug: http://izismile.com/2009/09/09/the_tongue_eating_louse_is_a_gross_parasite_living_in_a_fishs_mouth_18_pics.html
This is kinda gross, but oh so interesting. A bug that eats a fish's tongue, then be comes the fish's tongue!? This free-loading tactic is great, for the bug gets first dibs on all of the fish's meals. This bug reminds me of that 40 year old guy that still mooches off of his mom by living in the basement, but none the less, the tactic used by the bug is amazing.